Rights and Obligations Between the Spouses in Islaam

Från: _Monira_1 (Ursprungligt meddelande) Skickat: 2006-04-23 16:38
Bismillaah, wal hamdulillaah was salaatu was salaamu 'ala rasoolillaah, wa ba'd!

AsalaamuAleykum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakathu mina vackra systrar

InshaAllah att detta når er i stigande imaan och god hälsa -Ameen -

Jo, jag håller på och läser en bok just nu vars titel är "The Fragile Vessels" - Rights and Obligations Between the Spouses in Islaam - (Muhammad al-Jibaly)
När jag läser något och vill memorera, och komma ihåg vad jag läser brukar jag ofta skriva ner det igen...(låter onödigt hihi, men det är så jag lär mig) Ala kolli haal, så det finns ett kapitel i denna bok som heter "Husband's Obligations". Har skrivit ner delar av ca: halva det kapitlet på datorn så tänkte bara dela med mig av det inshaAllah. delar av andra halvan av kapitlet kommer under dagarna bi'thnillaah. InshaAllah att det gynnar er som det gynnade mig.

The Woman’s Rights<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

The womans right’s are ordained by Allah, and no one may violate them for any reason. Al-Miqdäm ( Radiya ‘Llähu ‘Anhu) reported that Allah’s Messenger (Sal’Allahu Aleyhi wa Sallam) said: <o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<Indeed Allah (swt) commands you to be good to the women ; indeed, they are your mothers, daughters, and (maternal) aunts. Indeed, a man from the people of the Book would be married to a woman who can hardly know how to pull a string, and yet, none of them would want to depart fron his companion> (1)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

A woman’s lesser physical strength is not, by any means, a justification for the man to overstep her rights. Abu Hurayrah (Radiya ‘Llähu ‘Anhu) reported that Allah’s Messenger (s.a.a.w.s) said:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<I strongly admonish you in regard to the right of the two weak ones : the orphan and the woman.> (2)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(1) : Recorded by at-Tabarani in al-Kabir. Verified to be hasan (sahih) by al-Albani. (Da’if ul-Jämi no. 1763)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(2) : Recorded by Ahmad, Ibn Mäjah and others. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no.1015 & Sahih ul-Jämi no. 2447)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

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* PROTECTION *<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

* An important obligation upon the husband *<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

Security and safety are most important for a human being. The wife is usually weaker of the two spouses, and looks to her husband for protection. Thus, one of the husband’s most important obligations is providing protection for his wife. This is a part of his responsibility as a leader of the family:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<< Men are in charge of woman by (right of) what (qualities) Allah has given one over the other and what they spend (in support) from their wealth >><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(An-Nisä’ <st1:time Minute="34" Hour="4">4:34</st1:time>)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

This ayah shows that Allah gave leadership (or qawämah) to the man because of certain qualities that would normally enable hom to conduct such a responsibility. A most important quality of a leader is his ability to protect his followers and provide for them an atmosphere of security and harmony.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

* GHAYRAH *<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

As a demonstration of a man’s love toward his wife, he should have ghayrah for her. Ghayrah is the great concern about her well-being, and the zeal to protect her from anything that might harm her person, such as an evil touch, word or look. BUT, ghayrah should not reach the point of distrusting and suspecting her without any reason , nor should it be for the purpose of finding possible mistakes. <o:p></o:p>

Jäbir Bin ‘Atik (r.l.a.) reported that Allah’s Messenger (s.a.a.w.s) said:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

< Indeed, there is a form of ghayrah that Allah loves, and a form that Allah hates. Ghayrah that Allah loves is that which is based on (valid) suspicion. And ghayrah that Allah hates is that which is without (valid) suspicion.> <o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(Recorded by Ahmad, Abu Däwud and others. Irwä’ ul-Ghalil no. 1999)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

A person without ghayrah is called dayyuth. A dayyuth is a person who has no sense of protection or honor regarding his wife. A dayyuth will never enter Jannah.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

* AVOIDING UNNECESSARY SUSPICION * <o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

As it is indicated in the above text, one should not nurture unjustifiable doubts about his wife, nor should he dig for mistakes for which he would then blame her. <o:p></o:p>

For this reason , the Prophet (s.a.a.w.s) prohibited a man from coming unexpectedly to his home. <o:p></o:p>

Jäbir (r.l.a) reported that Allahs Messenger (s.a.a.w.s) said:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<When one of you is back from a long journey, he should not come to his family by night.> <o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim and others.)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

* SAFEGUARDING HER SECRETS *<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

It is greatly prohibited for a man to expose his wife’s secrets, especially in matters of privacy that no person would normally know except the husband, such as birthmarks, reaction to some intimate acts, and so on. <o:p></o:p>

Abu Sa’id al-Khudri (Radiya ‘Llähu ‘Anhu) reported that Allah’s Messenger (s.a.a.w.s) said:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<Indeed, among the people who will have the most grievous position before Allah on the Day of Resurrection is a man who, after he privately approaches his wife and she privately approaches him, he exposes her secrets.><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(Recorded my Muslim, Abu Däwud, and others)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

Exposing the wife’s secrets brings mistrust and fear into her heart, and could be an indication of a man’s inclination toward being a dayyuth.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>


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Från: _Monira_1 (Ursprungligt meddelande) Skickat: 2006-04-23 16:39

* FINANCIAL SUPPORT *<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

Part of the Qäwämah obligations<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

One of the husband’s major responsibilities toward his wife and family is providing financial support. This responsibility is one of the most important reasons for which Allah appointed the man as the head of the family :<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<<Men are in charge of women by (right of) what (qualities) Allah has given one over the other and what they spend (in support) from their wealth.>><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(An-Nisä 4:34)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

According to his Capability



The financial support required from the husband is in accordance with his financial capability. <o:p></o:p>

Allah (s.w.t) says:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<<Allah does not burden a person beyond his capacity>><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(Al-Baqarah 2:286)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

The husband is not required to give more than what he has, nor is he allowed to provide inadequate support when he can afford giving more. Allah (s.w.t) says in regard to the women who get divorced before being touched:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<<Give them (the divorced) compensation – the wealthy according to his capability, and the poor according to his capability – a provision according to what is reasonable, a duty upon the good-doers.>><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(Al-Baqarah 2:236)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

SELF-SUFFIENCY<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

A man must seriously view his financial responsibility toward his wife and family. He should not look to others for help before he has exhausted all possible means of becoming independent and self-sufficient. Self-sufficiency brings a feeling of security and dignity to the whole family, and is therefore a goal that deserves earnest pursuit.<o:p></o:p>

Abu Hurayrah (r.l.a) reported that Allah’s Messenger (s.a.a.w.s) said:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<By Allah, for one of you to go in the morning, collect firewood, carry it on his back, and sell it to suffice himself and give charity from it: that is better for him than going to a man and asking him – he either giving or denying him. That is because the upper (giving) hand is better than the lower (taking) hand. And start (giving) to those whom you are responsible.><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

- Someone asked, “For whom am I responsible, O Allah’s Messenger?”<o:p></o:p>

He (Sal’Allahu Aleyhi wa Sallam) replied:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<Your wife is of those for whom you are responsible, as well as your slave girl and your child><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(Recorded by al-Bukhäri, Muslim, and others)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

It is unfortunate to observe that many Muslim men in the West rely strongly or solely on financial aid or public assistance – when they have the means of sufficing themselves , as in the above hadith.<o:p></o:p>

It is also pathetic to note that there are cases where a man would marry two or more wives and have them all live off public assistance while he conducts an irresponsible life, not performing his duty of supporting them, but rather, in some cases, taking the money that they thus earn and using it for his own purposes!<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

A HIGHLY REWARDABLE CHARITY<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

Besides being an obligation upon the man, spending upon his wife and family, counts as charity for him. ‘Amr Bin Umayyah as-Damri (r.l.a) reported that Allah’s Messenger (s.a.a.w.s) said:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<Whatever a man gives to his wife is a charity (in his record).><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(as-Sahihah no. 1024 & Sahih ul-Jämi no. 5540)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

Al-Miqdäm Bin Ma’di Yakrib (r.l.a) reported that Allah’s Messenger (s.a.a.w.s) said:<o:p></o:p>

<Whatever you feed yourself is a charity for you, whatever you feed your child is a charity for you, whatever you feed your wife is a charity for you, and whatever you feed your servant is a charity for you.><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(Recorded by Ahmad, at-Tabaräni,(in al-Kabir) and al-Bukhäri. As-Sahihah no. 452)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

PROVIDING HER WITH FOOD, CLOTHING AND OTHER BASIC NEEDS<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

The wife’s right for financial support includes food and clothing. Allah (s.w.t) says in regard to the nursing mothers:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<<Upon the father is their (the mothers’) provision and clothing according to what is reasonable>><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(Al-Baqarah 2:233)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

Mu’äwiyah Bin Haydah (r.l.a) said that he asked the Prophet (s.a.a.w.s), “O Allah’s Messenger! What is the right of one’s wife upon him?” He (s.a.a.w.s) replied:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<(Her right upon you is) that you feed her when you feed yourself, clothe her when you clothe yourself, avoid cursing her face, avoid hitting her, and avoid deserting her except within the same house – especially that you have come to be so intimate with each other – except in things that would make it permissible to punish her.><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(Recorded by Ahmad, Abu Däwud, and Ibn Mäjah. Sahih abi Däwud no. 1875-1877 & Irwä ul-Ghalil no. 2033)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

KIND TREATMENT AND COMPASSION<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

An Obligation upon the husband<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

The wife has the right to be respected and treated kindly This is not an optional favour from her husband. It is an obligation established through a divine command. What a man cannot control (the heart’s inclination) must not affect the way he treats his wife. Allah (s.w.t) commands:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<<Live with them (your wives) in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which Allah placed much good>><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(An-Nisä 4:19)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

Token of his good nature<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

Rendering kindness to the wife is a sign of good nature and righteousness. The Prophet (s.a.a.w.s) gave the perfect example of how a righteous believer should treat his wife. He (s.a.a.w.s) said:<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<The best of you are those who are the best to his family, and I am the best of you toward my family.><o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

(Recorded by at-Tirmithi, &Ibn Hibbän. (as-Sahihah no. 285) )<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

<o:p>Fortsättning följer under dagarna inshaAllah....</o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

<o:p>Wasalaamu'Aleykunna Wa Rahmatullah wa Barakaathu Akhwaat </o:p>